| Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. |
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| Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. |
I think I'm pregnant.
I think what's hardest to accept is that you were right this whole time.
The Death Eaters were given a direct order to silence our broadcasts.
I couldn't find out anything more about Caradoc, but I think whatever we might have been guessing is probably right.
Caradoc, what happened with the broadcast?
So I got fired today.
Sorry if I scared you lot if you were home when the Hitwizard went to the cottage. I'm fine though. A little sore and probably going to stay here in the bedroom until I have to go back to work.
I'm still not completely sure what happened but I don't quite want to talk about it right now.
Some of you might know by now but they came after me yesterday.
I'm fine, just a bit sore. I threw off an Imperius Curse. I don't think I want to be used as bait now though.
Now isn't the time for regrets.
I did finally receive verbal confirmation that Severus Snape is a Death Eater. Well, written, but it came directly from him, no mistake about it.
I believe it is prudent to assume that both Elliot Avery and Xander Mulciber are also Death Eaters. I know they are on our "probable" list, but I think we need a category between "probable" and "confirmed." "Assumed," perhaps?
About Severus, though, there are a few more things I think are probably important to disclose. First, and I'm sorry about this, but he knows I'm in the Order. He's been fairly certain for a long time, especially after the attack on Hogwarts, and my lying and telling him straight out that I wasn't didn't fool him. Unfortunately, this means he undoubtedly assumes that James is too, and likely Sirius, Remus and Peter.
Second, which ties into the first, is that we made a few agreements. We agreed not to ask about each others' friends, which is why I can't confirm Avery and Mulciber. More importantly, we promised to keep the information to ourselves. I'm obviously not doing that, since if You-Know-Who wanted to know, I doubt Severus would be able to keep it from him. However, we can't let on that I told the Order. He keeps telling me we're not friends but then that I need to be careful and warns me about things or people, and a number of us agreed in Emmeline's post that this is a good way for us to potentially find out about other Death Eaters, so we dont' want to ruin it. Plus, it would also be potentially dangerous for me as well as any Order member who might let on they know.
That's all I can think of, but let me know if you have any questions.
I don't want to hear "I told you so" from any of you.
Ijust got your noteknow things have changed between us but I really am truly sorry about Evan and Jeremy.
Please let me know if there's anything I can do.
I think we need to seriously begin to look into getting our own place. I love Mary but it's getting too hard to hide some of the things we know from her, especially when it's things like this.
Oh, and don't ask me why but I was looking at the gift Severus gotmeus for our wedding and there was a note in the back. Would you give it a look and tell me what you think about it? (I have a few things I'll say but I want to wait until you've seen it.)
Is it strange I'm having a difficult time all this about Wilkes and Rosier?
I feel lost.
I suppose it is silly that I'm writing to you here instead of talking to you about this but you're on the sofa reading that book you're rather into and I had intended to write to Mum. Which I do sometimes, in case you didn't know, but I want someone to answer me and she can't give me that anymore.I missDon't be offended though that I didn't think of you first, it's hard for a girl to spend nineteen years turning to her mum and then have to break the habit. And in nineteen years I know that I'll immediately be turning to you for your stupid advice.
I can't stop thinking about how Fabian is dead and I can barely believe it sometimes and how Sirius and Remus are rotting and I only just got away from it. I sometimes don't understand how sentences like the one I just wrote are even real and not just some nightmare or something from a storybook. Even as a witch.
I don't regret joining the Order, no, because even without the Order we'd still be in this sort of mess, and not even taking my blood into account. Look at nearly every single girl in my year so far and what's happened to them since we left Hogwarts. I'm glad we're at least trying to do something even if I'm terrified nearly every day and my friends are dying. It's as if my resolve is both weakening and strengthening at the same time, which I don't entirely understand but, well, there it is.
Which is why I'm entertaining this thought of putting an application in to the Auror trainee programme. I don't know though. I feel like I should be doing more sometimes, that I should be fighting these Death Eaters with everything I am, but at other times... I just want to be a silly girl again. And really, even if Scrimgeour would have me (and I can't say I know if he would), I'm sure I'd do a bit more actively against the Death Eaters but at what price? Sometimes it's important for me to be able to speak freely, and I don't know if an auror can always.
I do wish I could just make a career of speaking against Purists.
This may seem a bit out of the blue, but do you have any time coming up to get together? A girl's night or something of the like? I'm not saying we have to paint our nails or anything, but I need someone to talk to who isn't James or one of the blokes, and I'd love to relax a bit.
And speaking of the blokes, and maybe I'm a bit out of line to say it, but it might be nice if you could say something to Remus about bringing up what happened with him and being a werewolf. I understand what you meant with it all but he's sensitive about it all even though he tries to hide it. I wouldn't normally say anything, but it's difficult to see him hurt every time it's even mentioned.
So how is married life treating you?
I have a list of things I need you to do tomorrow while I'm doing another list.
How do you feel about a compromise with the Severus thing?
Don't let me think about that man who was killed last night because of our Order shirts please. And please don't get mad if I am just talking and thinking about wedding things because I need to not think about that man.
On another note, your mother surprised me for lunch and she is just so wonderful.
Darling roommate, do you know how we are always unsatisfied with the amount of time we spend with each other? That is about to change because this is my hour of need.
We set the wedding date for the eighteenth. I know- it's absurdly soon but it's what was open and I didn't want to wait until early August. James' parents last night offered to fund most of the wedding which I admit I'm still somewhat uncomfortable with but it's going to be a small ceremony anyway and I don't reckon I can plan anything too elaborate in two weeks.
James' mum surprised me for lunch today to talk about wedding things, just the two of us, and I can't tell you how lovely she is. She's insisting I wear a pair of her grandmother's earrings for the wedding either as something borrowed or something blue, depending, and she wants to take us out dress shopping on Sunday if that works for you.
I also am hoping I can get your help with the invitations. There aren't many because, as I said, this will be a small wedding, but they need to go out tomorrow if at all possible just because of the time constraints.
I am getting so excited, Mary! I can't even begin to describe it!
I wanted to let you all know that James and I have set our wedding date for the eighteenth. We would love to be able to invite you all, but I think we all know how many eyebrows that would raise. However, I was thinking that after our honeymoon we could have a small get-together at the safehouse? Would anyone be interested in that?
So you don'thave another hissy fitcause another scene, I thought I should tell you that James and I have set our wedding date for the eighteenth.
Sirius' cousin's husband Ted warded to Muggleborns about maybe doing something with the Order Manifesto and he mentioned Muggleborn Week and now all I can think about is Dorcas. She should be here to see this.
I miss her.