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Aug. 18th, 2012

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
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Dec. 14th, 2011

fifty-seven; hope

JAMES
I think I'm pregnant.

I'm inclined to be pessimistic lately with the world going to shit and all, but every once in a while something happens and reminds me there is good in the world.

And no, I don't mean Fritz even though he is the best cat in the world.

Dec. 2nd, 2011

JAMES
I think what's hardest to accept is that you were right this whole time.

I can't stand all these senseless murders. I think what hurts most is that I'm starting to feel numb to some of them, even. Another entire family murdered, another person missing, it's nothing shocking anymore. And the worst part about it all is the silent support that comes from the purists.

When I think about it too much, it all feels just too overwhelming. How can we go on like this for much longer?

Added later:
ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
The Death Eaters were given a direct order to silence our broadcasts.

I couldn't find out anything more about Caradoc, but I think whatever we might have been guessing is probably right.

Nov. 22nd, 2011

ORDER
Caradoc, what happened with the broadcast?

Nov. 6th, 2011

I always loved Bonfire Night and somehow my sister has found a way to ruin even that for me. And to anyone who sees me tomorrow, I'm not the dragon that's on the loose, just feeling like I'm coming down with something and planning on taking a Pepper-Up Potion.

Nov. 1st, 2011

...I don't think I could have ever imagined I would get that many compliments for dressing up as Sirius Black for Halloween. Or that James would get so randy

Oct. 11th, 2011

78ERS MINUS SLYTHERINS
So I got fired today.

Oct. 10th, 2011

COTTAGE CREW (James, Mary, Charity and Sherlock)
Sorry if I scared you lot if you were home when the Hitwizard went to the cottage. I'm fine though. A little sore and probably going to stay here in the bedroom until I have to go back to work.

I'm still not completely sure what happened but I don't quite want to talk about it right now.

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
Some of you might know by now but they came after me yesterday.

I'm fine, just a bit sore. I threw off an Imperius Curse. I don't think I want to be used as bait now though.

Sep. 28th, 2011

fifty

PRIVATE
Now isn't the time for regrets.

ORDER
I did finally receive verbal confirmation that Severus Snape is a Death Eater. Well, written, but it came directly from him, no mistake about it.

I believe it is prudent to assume that both Elliot Avery and Xander Mulciber are also Death Eaters. I know they are on our "probable" list, but I think we need a category between "probable" and "confirmed." "Assumed," perhaps?

About Severus, though, there are a few more things I think are probably important to disclose. First, and I'm sorry about this, but he knows I'm in the Order. He's been fairly certain for a long time, especially after the attack on Hogwarts, and my lying and telling him straight out that I wasn't didn't fool him. Unfortunately, this means he undoubtedly assumes that James is too, and likely Sirius, Remus and Peter.

Second, which ties into the first, is that we made a few agreements. We agreed not to ask about each others' friends, which is why I can't confirm Avery and Mulciber. More importantly, we promised to keep the information to ourselves. I'm obviously not doing that, since if You-Know-Who wanted to know, I doubt Severus would be able to keep it from him. However, we can't let on that I told the Order. He keeps telling me we're not friends but then that I need to be careful and warns me about things or people, and a number of us agreed in Emmeline's post that this is a good way for us to potentially find out about other Death Eaters, so we dont' want to ruin it. Plus, it would also be potentially dangerous for me as well as any Order member who might let on they know.

That's all I can think of, but let me know if you have any questions.

MWPP
I don't want to hear "I told you so" from any of you.

Sep. 27th, 2011

forty-nine

Folks keep asking how it came to this, how it came to such violence and such a tragic end for two nineteen year olds who died before their time. Yet I notice that was not asked when two girls the same age were attacked just outside their home in Hogsmeade or when my own roommate was tortured inside our home - and these three girls were the same age as the two boys killed. I don't see why we're asking how it came to this when we've been here for months now.

I know that by writing this I'm inviting a lot of criticism, especially from the families of the deceased, and insinuations that I am being insensitive, but I hope you believe me when I say I'm sorry about Evan and Jeremy. I won't lie and say I don't think they were Death Eaters, but I am sorry that they were. I am sorry they believed the purist rhetoric taught them them strongly enough to join an organisation that would hurt and kill people. It may not be proven that they were Death Eaters, but they used Dark Magic and I've stood up against Voldemort himself and trust me when I say that you cannot use that type of magic without a lot of hate.

I see so much blame of the Ministry, however, for the deaths of people who actively worked against the Ministry, and surprise when this is the result. There is so much surprise and blame of the lawful government when your sons and brothers join up in a war against said government, yet you see no flaw when you taught them the values that caused them to hate so much and to join the war. Of course you wouldn't.

It's hard to say I'm surprised, though, when this is a perfect example of purist privilege. You are able to do and say exactly what you want, when you want, and without fear of any consequences. Then, when there are consequences, it is always the fault of others. It is the Aurors' fault for killing young boys. It is the Muggleborns' fault for being born with magic and having the gall to use it. And yet this behaviour, all of it, is seen as largely harmless. You are considered 'normal' and your hateful behaviour is excused when, if any Muggleborn were acting in a similar fashion, it would be seen as dysfunctional, destructive, and evidence of a profound cultural flaw. You get away with this shit on a daily basis, and yet we're the ones feared and despised.

I am sorry Evan and Jeremy were Death Eaters.

I know this is pointless to ask, but instead of arguing with me, please take a moment to really think about what I've said here. Arguing in order to divert the blame is only a tactic to keep things the way they are. You may like the way things are, but Muggleborns aren't a threat to you and despite what you may think, Muggleborn equality won't lessen your quality of life. Promise.

Sep. 26th, 2011

SEVERUS
I just got your note know things have changed between us but I really am truly sorry about Evan and Jeremy.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

JAMES
I think we need to seriously begin to look into getting our own place. I love Mary but it's getting too hard to hide some of the things we know from her, especially when it's things like this.

Oh, and don't ask me why but I was looking at the gift Severus got me us for our wedding and there was a note in the back. Would you give it a look and tell me what you think about it? (I have a few things I'll say but I want to wait until you've seen it.)

Is it strange I'm having a difficult time all this about Wilkes and Rosier?

Sep. 25th, 2011

"Oh I see you're wearing black robes today, let me shed all over them."

Really now, he isn't even a white cat and it isn't really shedding time, but Fritz seems to think that my robes look better with cat fur all over them and it's right noticeable. He also took a nap on my bath towel today. I'm assuming he thought it needed to be warmer and wanted to give me some of his fur. How kind.

He'll likely know I've been talking about him now, and he'll cry outside our bedroom door all night until either James or I decide to let him in, then he'll decide it's time to find Mary. Git.

Aug. 31st, 2011

JAMES
I feel lost.

I suppose it is silly that I'm writing to you here instead of talking to you about this but you're on the sofa reading that book you're rather into and I had intended to write to Mum. Which I do sometimes, in case you didn't know, but I want someone to answer me and she can't give me that anymore. I miss Don't be offended though that I didn't think of you first, it's hard for a girl to spend nineteen years turning to her mum and then have to break the habit. And in nineteen years I know that I'll immediately be turning to you for your stupid advice.

I can't stop thinking about how Fabian is dead and I can barely believe it sometimes and how Sirius and Remus are rotting and I only just got away from it. I sometimes don't understand how sentences like the one I just wrote are even real and not just some nightmare or something from a storybook. Even as a witch.

I don't regret joining the Order, no, because even without the Order we'd still be in this sort of mess, and not even taking my blood into account. Look at nearly every single girl in my year so far and what's happened to them since we left Hogwarts. I'm glad we're at least trying to do something even if I'm terrified nearly every day and my friends are dying. It's as if my resolve is both weakening and strengthening at the same time, which I don't entirely understand but, well, there it is.

Which is why I'm entertaining this thought of putting an application in to the Auror trainee programme. I don't know though. I feel like I should be doing more sometimes, that I should be fighting these Death Eaters with everything I am, but at other times... I just want to be a silly girl again. And really, even if Scrimgeour would have me (and I can't say I know if he would), I'm sure I'd do a bit more actively against the Death Eaters but at what price? Sometimes it's important for me to be able to speak freely, and I don't know if an auror can always.

I do wish I could just make a career of speaking against Purists.

ALICE
This may seem a bit out of the blue, but do you have any time coming up to get together? A girl's night or something of the like? I'm not saying we have to paint our nails or anything, but I need someone to talk to who isn't James or one of the blokes, and I'd love to relax a bit.

And speaking of the blokes, and maybe I'm a bit out of line to say it, but it might be nice if you could say something to Remus about bringing up what happened with him and being a werewolf. I understand what you meant with it all but he's sensitive about it all even though he tries to hide it. I wouldn't normally say anything, but it's difficult to see him hurt every time it's even mentioned.

Aug. 9th, 2011

FABIAN
So how is married life treating you?

It's funny how when so much is going on around us and people have reason now to fear even going into work that when I look outside in the middle of the afternoon everything still looks normal.

I suppose it's easy for some people to fool themselves into thinking that everything is fine and dandy but it really hasn't been for a long time. Charity and Junia and the rest of them who have been likely-Imperiused and/or hurt in the last few days are just more of my classmates who have been targeted in the last year and it's just getting worse.

I swear I'm going to lose it if one more person I know is hurt.

Jul. 21st, 2011

I believe I've stooped to a new low today, but I don't regret it one bit.

For those of you who think Muggles can do nothing right, you have clearly not ever experienced air conditioning.

Jul. 5th, 2011

The woman at the post office said "Mrs Potter" twice today and she wasn't talking about James' mum. It still surprises me every time, though I'm certainly not complaining!

Jun. 12th, 2011

JAMES
I have a list of things I need you to do tomorrow while I'm doing another list.

How do you feel about a compromise with the Severus thing?

Jun. 11th, 2011

Congratulations to everyone finishing up at Hogwarts this year, especially you seventh years. I still feel like I just left myself and though I miss it a bit (though perhaps not rounds), life after Hogwarts really is wonderful.

In related news, I can't remember the last time I've been this busy. Hogwarts' final exams, actually, came closest, but Merlin is preparing for a wedding strenuous!

Jun. 3rd, 2011

Forty

JAMES
Don't let me think about that man who was killed last night because of our Order shirts please. And please don't get mad if I am just talking and thinking about wedding things because I need to not think about that man.

On another note, your mother surprised me for lunch and she is just so wonderful.

MARY
Darling roommate, do you know how we are always unsatisfied with the amount of time we spend with each other? That is about to change because this is my hour of need.

We set the wedding date for the eighteenth. I know- it's absurdly soon but it's what was open and I didn't want to wait until early August. James' parents last night offered to fund most of the wedding which I admit I'm still somewhat uncomfortable with but it's going to be a small ceremony anyway and I don't reckon I can plan anything too elaborate in two weeks.

James' mum surprised me for lunch today to talk about wedding things, just the two of us, and I can't tell you how lovely she is. She's insisting I wear a pair of her grandmother's earrings for the wedding either as something borrowed or something blue, depending, and she wants to take us out dress shopping on Sunday if that works for you.

I also am hoping I can get your help with the invitations. There aren't many because, as I said, this will be a small wedding, but they need to go out tomorrow if at all possible just because of the time constraints.

I am getting so excited, Mary! I can't even begin to describe it!

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
I wanted to let you all know that James and I have set our wedding date for the eighteenth. We would love to be able to invite you all, but I think we all know how many eyebrows that would raise. However, I was thinking that after our honeymoon we could have a small get-together at the safehouse? Would anyone be interested in that?

SEVERUS
So you don't have another hissy fit cause another scene, I thought I should tell you that James and I have set our wedding date for the eighteenth.

May. 16th, 2011

Thirty-nine

JAMES
Sirius' cousin's husband Ted warded to Muggleborns about maybe doing something with the Order Manifesto and he mentioned Muggleborn Week and now all I can think about is Dorcas. She should be here to see this.

I miss her.


As a Disclaimer, first I'll say that I don't support anything that is illegal, including vigilantism. That said, I have a few thoughts, and I apologise if they're a bit jumbled — this isn't a clear-cut situation for me.

First, Ms Skeeter's article leads me to believe that she is blind to reality. First off, she insinuates that most of Wizarding Britain is thick! As if wizards who have jobs don't have brains. And she says that simply because the Ministry says everyone is equal means that everything is fine — this clearly isn't the case given that there are Death Eaters around.

I may not support vigilantes, but I can't say there won't ever be a time where I won't want or need a Order of the Phoenix's folk's help. (Would we call them Phoenixes?) But, of course, since circumstances lead me to believe that there is always a threat of a Death Eater attempting to harm me, I would want and need anyone's help who might be there to give it, whether it be Auror, Phoenix, or simply a Good Samaritan.

I don't support them, but it's also hard to condemn them when I'm the sort of person the Death Eaters want to not exist.

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